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Mental Health

Why Men Ignore Their Mental Health (& How To Break The Cycle)

Author: Stephen B. Poulter, PhD

May 19, 2026

Clinical Psychologist

By Stephen B. Poulter, PhD

Clinical Psychologist

Stephan B. Poulter, Ph.D., is a renowned Los Angeles-based clinical psychologist in private practice with over thirty years of experience and the author of 7 books.

Image by Valentina Barreto / Stocksy

May 19, 2026

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Over the years, I have had several men experience the onset of cardiac arrest (heart attack) in my office while talking about an ex-wife, a heartbreaking experience, or a significant romantic loss. The sudden onset of physical symptoms come on in a serious, painful, frightening manner.

My male clients, ages 28, 36, and 44, were all in seemingly good health then suddenly felt enormous chest pain pressure (like someone was sitting on their chest), tingling sensation in their arms, and shortness of breath. All three men wondered out loud if they were having a heart attack or a panic attack.

Their physical symptoms began escalating—more chest pain and dizziness. The panic attack idea was dismissed by all three men, who had previously suffered them. Each of these men immediately sought emergency medical treatment; ironically, they had no hesitation in seeking medical help in that moment.

Fortunately, getting immediate medical attention saved each of their lives, per their own admission in the following months. At the onset of their heart attacks, all three men were discussing their feelings of anger, hopelessness, and psychological loss when their bodies signaled trouble. It's interesting to note that each of the guys told me later that they had felt similar physical and emotional sensations days prior to their heart attacks and ignored them.

Question 1: Have you noticed a physical sensation in your body while talking about emotionally charged issues?

Full disclosure: I am included among the majority of men who postpone their preventive medical care. Like the majority of the brotherhood, I didn't have time; my insurance deductible was high; I was building my psychological practice; and whatever excuses worked. I tore my vertebral artery at the base of my neck running and had a stroke that almost ended my life.

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I was completely paralyzed on the right side of my body within 10 seconds. I knew I was dying (people know this during a near-death experience) and internally pleaded with my higher self to spare my life.

During the first 48 hours, I fortunately regained about 95% of my movement. I spent the following eight days in the intensive care unit, which felt like eight months. Needless to say, every doctor I met during my week in the hospital lectured me. They all told me how lucky I was not to be permanently paralyzed or dead (all movement fully came back to my body within a week).

This medical crisis changed the course of my life; the psychological issues of avoidance, maintaining proper health, work-life balance, father-son issues, and a host of buried issues all resurfaced as I lay in the hospital.

After my brush with death, I had to ask myself what else was I running from. All that I knew when I left the hospital was that I never wanted to have a stroke—or anything like it—again. It took six months before I felt as if I was fully back in my body again.

Think about the three questions posed in this chapter. What is your first answer—not the proper response but the one in your gut? Make a mental note of your answer or write in the margin or at the end of this chapter.

These questions can be helpful in reconnecting with lost or forgotten parts of your life. Your body is as important as your ability to think clearly and to function personally and professionally at your highest level.

Question 2: What is your body currently saying to you?

Getting back to our mind-body connection is part of the masculine journey of developing balance and fulfillment, which all men address at some point in their lives. Women are typically more attuned to their bodies with monthly reminders about having babies someday. Men tend to rely on a crisis to address their health (both body and dental), as I am guilty of doing.

Years ago in California, smoking was allowed indoors, in restaurants, and basically anywhere else. Then legislators realized, per the medical community, that secondhand cigarette smoke was also a public health hazard, along with smoking. The concept of smoking and nonsmoking sections in restaurants, bars, and nightclubs was introduced.

Within a short period of time, it became abundantly clear that smoke permeated any area regardless of ventilation. The conclusion: It is impossible to prevent cigarette smoke